This is your signal…

I’ve been thinking.. there are a lot of big things happening soon. Some of them positive- some of them heartbreaking, but a natural part of life. David and I are throwing a really big party next month, for all of our family and friends. It’s really just putting a bow on a commitment that we made to each other a long time ago, but it will feel good to celebrate and share that with the people we love.

At the same time, I’m trying to prepare myself for the loss of a family member who is not in good health- and his family suffered the same loss earlier this year. There is simply no way to “prepare” for something like this, and really, I don’t think I’ve ever really had to process it- at least not as an adult. It’s an impossible-but-inevitable experience.

Talking with a friend last night who recently turned 30, she told me about her “mantra” for this year of her life. Go. GO. Of course, I could identify– I remember turning 30, and thinking exactly the same. Scratch that- I remember turning 25, flailing my arms at the world and trying to grab onto something- something that would propel me forward. I needed this reminder so much at the time, I made it a permanent part of my life and my skin. Every day I see the words (rendered in my friend Ben’s handwriting): So go.

Have I? I suppose I have. I’ve gone further than I thought possible in such a short time– even though sometimes it feel like “forever” and “nowhere.” And really, there is so much further to go. But I’ll get there.